If you are on Pinterest, you know that Zucchini Crust Pizza is EVERYWHERE. It is being pinned and repinned constantly. Every time I saw it being pinned I immediately thought, “I want that in my mouth… NOW.” Then my next thought was “Oh sh*t, I have to make it.” I love, love, love, love food. I hate, hate, hate cooking. So when my two twin besties, Katie and Erin, were coming over for dinner I enlisted their help in making the infamous zucchini crust pizza. I didn’t just enlist their help because I wanted to drag them down in this cooking fiasco with me, but because they are stellar cooks and make home dinners often. Let me start from the beginning, because I should have known from the way this journey started it wouldn’t end up well.
Food Shopping. The good old supermarket. I like to think I know where most foods are in the supermarket. I found out I don’t. Damn you zucchini! Between the pizza and the dessert I was making (found on Pinterest as well) I had all the ingredients in my cart… except for the zucchini. I could not find it. I saw cucumbers after cucumbers after cucumbers. There was only one answer I thought so I made sure I was on the right track. My mom, fiance, and twinnies all got the same text message: “Are cucumbers and zucchinis the same thing?” I got back various responses of the same thing: “NO,” “No way,” “Ask somebody,” “Ask someone where zucchinis are.” All I needed was two friggin’ zucchinis. I was frustrated and embarrassed so I paid for my found groceries, left, and told Katie and Erin that they were being forced to come back to the supermarket with me later on to show me where zucchinis were. At least they were finding this comical.
After our tripod pedicure date, we crossed 3rd Avenue and walked back into the supermarket. Erin: “Ali, they are right here under squash!” WHAT. REALLY? C’MON.
Now, if I owned a clothing store. I would not make different sections and then put a pair of pants in the shirt section. I bought the two stupid zucchinis and we left.
Isn’t this story just so funny? And I haven’t even started cooking yet.
This is how the cooking went at MY apartment:
-Erin shredded the zucchini using a cheese grater.
-Katie and Erin ate the cheese and crackers we bought as an appetizer.
-Erin mixed in the one egg.
-Erin mixed in the shredded mozzarella cheese.
-I ripped the wax paper so it fit on the pan.
-Erin put the zucchini mix on the pizza pan and made sure it was even.
-Erin put it in the oven.
Remember, I invited them over for dinner that I was cooking. The crust was supposed to stay in the oven that was preheated to 450 degrees for 20 minutes. We put the timer on and refilled our wine glasses. Boy, would we need it. When we heard the timer go off we all trekked into the kitchen and pulled out our beautiful crust. And it was beautiful. It did look exactly like the pictures, getting a little brown and crispy but mostly green and full of life. We spooned tomato sauce on the crust and more shredded cheese and when we thought it looked acceptable put it back into the oven for another 5-10 minutes.
The second timer went off and we went back into the kitchen. Erin took it out of the oven and we all stared in amazement. It looked really pretty. Not just like “hm that looks interesting”, but “damn I can’t wait to eat that.” We got our three plates ready, the pizza cutter ready and then BAM! The crust was STUCK to the wax paper. Legit, wax crust instead of zucchini crust. I wanted to call the wahmbulence right about then. Erin got a small butter knife and succeeded at attempting to pull the wax away from the crust. We each got a piece of the pizza and went to sit at the dining room table exchanging worried glances. Let me tell you, that meal didn’t look pretty but it sure as hell tasted good. The three of us even shared the last piece. I am not lying when I say there was nothing left. Zilch.
I admit I made this out to be way worse than it really was, however, I didn’t really do anything and somehow it was probably my fault that the zucchini crust stuck to the wax paper.
I won’t even start my story about the Apple Snickers Pie I made for dessert. Let’s just say that made its way to the garbage real fast.